Great to see you have made deadline and put in so much effort here, Rhian. When we come back you will have 2 weeks to get your foundation portfolio absolutely finished.
Please see below for feedback on your first submission:
1. Front Cover: Strong central image. Clearly you have paid attention to mise-en-scene and costume. I'm not sure if the overlap of the graffitti is deliberate, but I like it. Good use of font for masthead. Your masthead is a bit off-centre, so this could do with adjusting. Justify your puffs to the side of the magazine on the right, like you have on the left side. Consider playing with different fonts and maybe even colour for your text here. I think the caps may be a bit too big and bold here. One of the criteria on the mark scheme is awareness of the need for variety in font sizes ans styles, so using a different font could work here. The bannered strapline at the bottom looks quite chunky with the word "inside" all on its own at the bottom. Consider taking it out and making the block slimmer. It also doesn't go right up to the end of the barcode, so it looks a tad unfinished. Finally, don't push everything right up to the edge of the canvas, as it may get cut off in printing.
2 - Contents: It is great to see you use a range of original images. You have clearly demonstrated your creativity and planning here. Overall, the layout looks quite sparse in places. Consider re-working this. Go back to other contents pages, make flat plans of how they set out their content and experiment with organising your contents in different ways.
3 - Double Page Spread: Again, strong image, with attention being paid to costume, pose, lighting and location. Nice tag line, too. Your font is very large and thick. I don't think this works so well. Also, you need to have your text in columns. Formatting of text is always tricky, so don't get disheartened! I think it would be really helpful to print this 2 page spread in A3 and see how big it is really. Compare it to the font size in a real magazine and see how you need to adjust it. The page doesn't have to be crammed wirth text, so you can play with the proportions of the headline and pull quote. Maybe even have the pull quote embedded in the body of the article, as you mentioned in your research.
This is a good first draft. keep tinkering with it and keep going back to your research to test your ideas for authenticty.
Great to see you have made deadline and put in so much effort here, Rhian. When we come back you will have 2 weeks to get your foundation portfolio absolutely finished.
ReplyDeletePlease see below for feedback on your first submission:
1. Front Cover: Strong central image. Clearly you have paid attention to mise-en-scene and costume. I'm not sure if the overlap of the graffitti is deliberate, but I like it. Good use of font for masthead. Your masthead is a bit off-centre, so this could do with adjusting. Justify your puffs to the side of the magazine on the right, like you have on the left side. Consider playing with different fonts and maybe even colour for your text here. I think the caps may be a bit too big and bold here. One of the criteria on the mark scheme is awareness of the need for variety in font sizes ans styles, so using a different font could work here. The bannered strapline at the bottom looks quite chunky with the word "inside" all on its own at the bottom. Consider taking it out and making the block slimmer. It also doesn't go right up to the end of the barcode, so it looks a tad unfinished. Finally, don't push everything right up to the edge of the canvas, as it may get cut off in printing.
2 - Contents: It is great to see you use a range of original images. You have clearly demonstrated your creativity and planning here. Overall, the layout looks quite sparse in places. Consider re-working this. Go back to other contents pages, make flat plans of how they set out their content and experiment with organising your contents in different ways.
3 - Double Page Spread: Again, strong image, with attention being paid to costume, pose, lighting and location. Nice tag line, too. Your font is very large and thick. I don't think this works so well. Also, you need to have your text in columns. Formatting of text is always tricky, so don't get disheartened! I think it would be really helpful to print this 2 page spread in A3 and see how big it is really. Compare it to the font size in a real magazine and see how you need to adjust it. The page doesn't have to be crammed wirth text, so you can play with the proportions of the headline and pull quote. Maybe even have the pull quote embedded in the body of the article, as you mentioned in your research.
This is a good first draft. keep tinkering with it and keep going back to your research to test your ideas for authenticty.
Keep up the great work.